Photos by Kelley Sweet Photography
December is an exciting month full of friends, family, and cheer. But often, we’re so busy trying to pull things together for the holidays, we overlook the reason we’re wearing ourselves out. Usually, it’s either to impress or live up to others’ expectations or to avoid criticism. Sometimes we start the holiday rush even earlier to alleviate stress but end up buying more gifts and decorations than originally planned, or making gifts with self-imposed deadlines.
When this happens, we can start to feel resentful, trapped, controlled, or even worse, feel worthless after the rush to get things done. Quite often, the feelings are wrapped up into a big ball of exhaustion and confusion. Targeting your negative feelings and frustrations toward your spouse is frequently the result. This can lead to years of bottled emotions from both spouses exploding all at once, ultimately ending with one or both waving the white flag. This is when we need and should reach out for guidance.
Former District Court Judge Vicki Pinak handles even the most difficult and high-profile cases with ease and professionalism. For more than 30 years, her combined years of experience as a family law litigator, arbitrator, and judge provides her clients with advantageous insight.
The Pinak Law Firm offers complimentary consultations to help individuals unpack emotions. “Our firm is unique because we believe divorce is not always the answer,” Vicki said. But when a spouse insists on divorce, an efficient solution is needed. The Pinak Law Firm is known for their ethics, working to negotiate the smoothest path possible toward a brighter future. It’s no surprise they’ve been selected by Living readers as the Best Law Practice in 2022 and 2023.
Vicki said sometimes potential clients will call, feeling like they’re in a cage – living a life that meets the expectation of others and feeling as though they’ll never be good enough. This can create feelings of hopelessness. Then, the potential for change becomes so intimidating, it seems easier just to stay with what you know and feel sorry for yourself.
Living a caged life restricts one’s thoughts, joy, and dreams. “As children, most of us are encouraged to do what others want and expect of us,” Vicki explains. “However, during adulthood, it’s time to direct our own paths. Life can be fun and exciting again just like when we were kids. All that’s needed is a little push or guidance to get started.”
Vicki’s years of experience helped her realize the two most frequent ways out of this caged, trapped feeling. One is for life to completely flip upside down, shattering the figurative cage. This would be when a drastic change is forced upon you even though you probably saw it coming and chose to ignore it. Although being forced to take a new direction isn’t anyone’s preference, Vicki warns not to ignore it once it’s forced upon you. This is when you need guidance.
The other way out of a caged life is by deliberate and willful action by the one feeling victimized. The important point is to acknowledge the situation and seek direction. Vicki stresses this is not something anyone should have to do alone. “Movement will get the momentum going by discussing and planning steps to take,” she said. “Internet postings may offer advice that doesn’t fit my clients’ situations and could cause much more heartache that could’ve been prevented.” Ways to feel more energized and enthusiastic about the future can be learned and actively practiced. It doesn’t just happen by itself. There must be a desire and a will to acquire necessary steps for appreciation of new experiences and adventures, finding them exciting rather than frightening. Fear of the unknown, fear of breaking routine, fear of getting out of the hypothetical caged feeling or comfort zone are major emotions that block our desire to initiate change. “Within my 30-plus years of experience with clients, I’ve seen that once they break through that fear of change, it’s like a light comes on in the brain, allowing them to see a new direction with endless possibilities.”
New Year Prompts New Momentum
You can choose any month, not just January, to start the momentum. With a free initial consultation, people residing in Fort Bend County can call and speak confidentially, without fear of a bill showing up or someone discovering a call was made. “I feel like it is a public service that is needed,” states Vicki. “You may find yourself on an uncomfortable road in your new direction, but it’s a road worth taking.” Her experience has helped facilitate a compassionate and directional approach, which has become a rare find these days.
Willpower Trumps Brainpower
According to Vicki, the other issue most common for clients is feeling like their spouse is always trying to control what they do, when they do it, or how it’s done. In this case, Vicki discusses with clients how their own willpower trumps brainpower. “You have the power within to determine how to experience, interpret, and shape your own world. No one else has that power over you,” she states.
When there’s a controlling person in your life, this restricts the ability to be receptive and adaptive to situations, unless you know the secret to breaking that cycle. One secret is simply how you respond to the controlling person at that moment. How you respond is 100% within your control. If you respond in kind, you’ll never break the controlling behavior. There are systematic ways to modify that behavior. “We counsel our clients by giving them tools, so each step leads in a direction that will bring peace, joy, and the opportunity to look forward to each day in a new light.”
1104 Thompson Road
Richmond, Texas 77469